Where am I? PhDzilla was confused.
She could not see a thing, all she remembered was the breathing exercise and then suddenly the surroundings disappeared in thick smoke.
This is strange, I definitely stopped smoking out of my nostrils, I had calmed down … hm … have I reached the perfect state of calm?
NO YOU HAVE NOT! A booming voice sounded drowning out the dragon’s thoughts. I BROUGHT YOU HERE BECAUSE YOU TRESPASSED MY SACRED LAND AND DARED TO BRING BRIMSTONE AND FIRE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.
Oh boy, oh boy—ohboyohboyohboy, PhDzilla thought, so much for calming down and bringing my inner dragon under control.
THOU SHALLST BE PUNISHED FOR THY TRESPASSING, the god of fire thundered angrily, for this he was, and PhDzilla had unwillingly and unwittingly exploded into a fully fledged dragon right on the spot of an ancient sacred site.
FOR THY UNCONSIDERED BEHAVIOUR THOU SHALLST WAIL IN PAIN! FOR THY WORST WEAKNESS IS IMPATIENCE THOU SHALLST HAVE TO WAIT FOR THY VIVA FOR UNDEFINED TIME!
‘Well alright, how do you propose to do that ey?’, PhDzilla asked sassy, all that booming and thundering of voice began to get on her nerves.
STRONG STORMS SHALL FELL TREES AND BLOCK ALL ROADS AND VOLCANOES SHALL ERUPT AND BLOCK ALL WAYS IN THE AIR. MOTE IT BE. And with this the floating eyes and booming voice disappeared.
The moment PhDzilla was back on earth she reached for her smart-phone, and (oh shoot) an email from the postgraduate administrator was in her mailbox.
Due to an ash-cloud from the volcano in Iceland the examiner will not get his flight your viva is cancelled.
“Noooooooooooooooooo!’, PhDzilla screamed when she suddenly heard a strange noise something that sounded like:
… and looked like
He came swooping in with his volcano-resistant umbrella of force, his falling-tree-defying bowler hat, his air-born-poison filtering beard and his super-secret briefcase of heuristic improbability!
Defying the odds of the volcano super-professor came to rescue the sanity (or whatever was left of it) of PhDzilla to hold the viva right there and then in the middle of the highlands with the Samurai Schaf as witness.